


Cave-In

by MalevolentReverie



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Ben is 36 ish, Complete, Darkfic, Discussion of Pregnancy, Domestic Violence, Dystopia, Extremely Dubious Consent, F/M, Forced Relationship, Gender Roles, Harm to Animals, Human Trafficking, Isolation, Older Man/Younger Woman, Oral Sex, Rey is 15, Smut, Social Collapse, Southern Ben, Unsafe Sex, Violence, Weird Fluff, Zombie Apocalypse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-22
Updated: 2019-07-24
Packaged: 2020-01-23 22:11:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18558898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MalevolentReverie/pseuds/MalevolentReverie
Summary: Morality is the first casualty of the apocalypse.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Обвал](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18767560) by [Tersie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tersie/pseuds/Tersie)



> this is a mash of a couple prompts from anons and it won't be very long
> 
> the noncon is this is going to be much more extreme dubcon than noncon, but meh, i just tagged it to be safe

It’s not easy being an orphan during the apocalypse.

Rey learns to stay out of the way and collect scraps where she can find them, grateful to be safe from the undead outside the gate. The adults in town don’t have the energy to take care of another lost kid roaming the streets and she doesn’t resent them for it. She’s one of the few teenagers still alive.

There’s also other stuff going on—raids and excursions and repairs to the fence. There’s no weatherman to warn them of tornadoes or severe thunderstorms and even one can cause serious damage to their only protection from the outside.

Rey sleeps in an old apartment’s basement on a tattered mattress. No one bugs her. She keeps some plants for company and sews her own clothes and dolls, and secretly hopes her parents are still alive on the outside somewhere. It’s a quiet existence and nothing much happens. She survives by the day. Waiting patiently.

One day, the town leaders visit her.

It’s two men and a woman who survived the initial infestation and have the scars to prove it. Rey frowns when she sees them at her door but lets them in because she knows she doesn’t have a choice. What could they want with her?

They don’t look happy. Nalya sits next to Rey on her mattress and smiles faintly. She always wears a bandana and keeps her dark hair in tight braids, and she’s one of the best shots in town. The two men look around like they’re really uncomfortable.

 “Rey,” Nalya says gently, “we found someone you can live with.” She glances at the other two. “His name is Ben and he lives on the outside all by himself. He finds munitions and artillery for us—to keep the undead away.”

 “I’m okay here. I’m waiting for my mom and dad.”

Nalya takes Rey’s hand. “They aren’t coming back, honey. Ben will take very good care of you.”

Rey pulls her hand away and shakes her head, insisting that her parents are coming back. All three adults look more and more uncomfortable as she keeps refusing and they keep trying to convince her, but she doesn’t want to leave. She doesn’t want to live on the outside with a strange man.

Nalya stands back while the other two grab Rey by her upper arms and drag her from the basement. They pull her through the empty street to an old military truck and tie her arms behind her back. Another man leans against it with his arms crossed, scowling at the ground.

 “Please don’t make me go!” Rey begs. “Please!”

 “What’s he want a kid for, anyway?” the new man snaps. “How old is she?”

 “Fifteen, Poe.” Nalya nods to one of the other leaders. “Go grab her blanket and the clothes and dolls she’s made. We can at least send that with her.”

Poe spits on the ground and turns away, shaking his head and walking to the truck’s cabin.

They push Rey into the back of the cabin and a couple others get in the rear with guns. She sobs and struggles in her bindings, pleading again when Nalya takes a seat next to Poe. He exhales cigarette smoke out the window and starts the engine.

 “Seems like a bad trade.”

 “What am I supposed to do, Poe? We need munitions and don’t have anything to offer the bastard.” Nalya leans on the window, rubbing her face. “She’ll be better off with him. It’s not like he’ll hurt her.”

 “He’s not taking her for the fucking conversation,” Poe retorts. “Let me take her in—I can swing it.”

 “No. It’s done.”

Rey cries to herself during the short car ride. They pass through infested fields and over broken roads torn by tree roots. The undead hide during the day, sticking to caves and shade to protect their rotting skin from the sun, but their glowing green eyes watch from wherever they’re concealed. Rey hasn’t seen one of them in years and it’s not a welcome sight.

They roll up to a barbed wire fence reinforced with steel plates and electric cable. The heavy, enormous door groans open and Poe drives in with his temple resting on his fist. The gate is so tall that Rey can’t begin to see over it, and she sees spikes pointing backwards to keep the undead from crawling over.

There’s a short dirt road leading up to a small cabin with a rocking chair and a German Shepherd on the front porch. The dog barks and gets to its feet as Poe brings the truck to a stop, still muttering under his breath about how mad he is. Rey blubbers again for them to take her back home, but no one is listening.

Poe pushes his seat back. “Come on, honey. I’m sorry.” He reaches in and pulls Rey’s kicking body out of the truck. “I know, I know. I’m sorry.”

 “Ben?” calls Nalya. “We have the payment. You dead or takin’ a nap?”

The back of the truck unloads, all men with guns and green hats. Rey sobs where she stands and looks around for sympathy, but everyone stares straight ahead. There isn’t a single tree around but there _is_ a big stack of wooden crates to the side of the porch—it must be the munitions they need so much.

The front door creaks open, silencing the dog, who sits and glares at the small crowd of strangers. Someone yawns as they shuffle from inside the cabin out to the porch.

Ben takes up most of the door. He’s wearing a dirty white tank top and sweatpants that hang well below his belly button, and he has a bandage wrapped around one of his thick biceps. He nods to the others and binds his hair in a sloppy ponytail as he walks down the stairs, petting his dog along the way.

Rey jerks back at the sight of him. He has to be in his mid-to-late thirties and he’s weathered and covered in scars. He looks _scary_.

 “Nap,” Ben yawns, scratching the back of his head. He whistles and the dog hurries down the stairs to his side. “Need help lugging the crates in the truck?”

 “No, we can handle it.” Nalya glances back at Poe and Rey. “Poe. You can untie her.”

He tightens his grip on Rey’s upper arms and she feels much safer. Her eyes meet Ben’s dark gaze and she shrinks back, but he breaks a small smile and keeps petting his dog. It wags it’s tail and whines.

Poe’s heart pounds against Rey’s back. “There aren’t many kids left. Plenty of _women_.”

Nalya narrows her eyes and puts a hand on her hip. “Poe. Let her go. Now.”

 “She shouldn’t go from being a street kid to being his… his fucking slave!” He wraps an arm around Rey’s middle, holding her firm. “I’ll take her. I can do it. I won’t use her for—for—”

The other men move the crates in the background. Ben raises his eyebrows and crosses the short space between him and Rey, making her whimper and push back into Poe. Nalya rolls her eyes.

A pocket knife flicks open right in front of Rey’s face. Her eyes cross to focus on the shiny silver blade and she takes a sharp breath.

 “You got ten seconds to let her go,” Ben says. He has a heavy Southern drawl and a deep voice. “Or I’m sticking this knife in your neck.”

 “Poe!” Nalya snaps.

Rey clings to Poe’s arm but he unwillingly lets her go. He storms off as Ben takes over, roughly turning Rey to cut the ropes from her arms.

 “I’ll have more stock in a couple weeks,” Ben says conversationally to Nalya. He ignores Rey’s crying and drops the ropes when she’s free. “There’s a house up in Cayman with tons of shit.”

 “Fine. We’ll make contact when we’re in need.”

The dog circles around to Rey’s front and sniffs her. She shivers in miserable silence, maybe in shock like when she tried exploring outside the gate once. She wants to go home. Her parents could come back and they might miss her.

Nalya cups her chin on her way by. “It’s okay, baby. Don’t worry.” Her eyes flicker to Ben’s. “She has some belongings. Take care of her.”

 “Uh huh. Drive safe.”

Rey is handed a bag of her things and stands beside Ben as the truck heads out. She tilts forward on the balls of her feet as the gates close, sealing her in with this strange man, and she breaks into a run.

Ben doesn’t follow.

She runs to the gate and pounds on it with both fists, screaming for them to come back. Her bag full of the small comforts she has in life falls in the dirt.

 “Come back!” she screams. “You can’t leave me!”

The sound of the truck engine fades away, leaving her alone in silence.

Sobbing, Rey slowly sinks to the ground, covering her face with her hands. She doesn’t want to live in the middle of nowhere with this weird old man and his dog. What if her parents come back? What if they don’t know where to find her? Will he kill them?

She sits there for a while before Ben walks up. He silently collects her bag and whistles for his dog, which bounds over with his tongue out.

 “Stay, Titan.” The bag shifts but Rey doesn’t look up. “I’ll be inside. Have food if you want it. Shower.” Titan licks her cheek and she can’t resist leaning against him. “Supposed to rain tonight, if the cats under the porch are right.”

She sniffles. “…Cats?”

 “Yeah, little fucking bastards. Tried shootin’ ‘em. Titan won’t kill them.”

 “Why would you kill a cat?” Rey snaps.

 “I don’t have enough meat to feed them all and I hate watching them starve.” He starts walking off, still talking. “Getting shot is better than eating your brothers and sisters, don’t you think?”

She doesn’t respond—but yes, it is. Anything is better than becoming like the undead.


	2. Chapter 2

Rain drives Rey inside after night falls. Titan trots along beside her and she hears the groans and hisses of the undead just outside the fence. The dog curls his lip and growls. Animals hate them.

It’s warm and lit up inside the cabin. Rey steps out of her shoes and closes the door behind her, eyeing Ben sitting at the kitchen table with a book. He doesn’t pay her any attention as she walks to his refrigerator and settles on eating cold chicken thighs.

Titan sits in front of her, panting. She smiles and pops him a small piece of chicken.

 “Don’t reward begging,” Ben calls. He turns a page. “I don’t want him rippin’ up my hens.”

 “Oh… sorry.”

She finishes her food and washes the plate when she’s through. It’s good; really good. Her stomach is full for the first time in weeks.

Rey explores the cabin that’s now her home, Titan following close behind. It’s a hodgepodge of decorations, some obviously expensive and stolen from new houses but others just… weird. She cringes at a bear skull in the bathroom and carries on.

There’s a closet, a small room filled with books, and a bedroom in the corner. She peers inside and her heart sinks at the sight of her blanket and a stuffed animal on the foot of the bed. Why do they have to share? Can’t she just sleep on the couch or the floor?

While she’s staring at the blue bedspread and hoping Ben doesn’t want what she thinks he wants, she hears an ear-piercing scream.

Titan erupts into barking and tears out of the bedroom. Rey blinks and covers her ears as she hurries after him to the front room of the cabin. What the hell is making that horrible noise?

Ben is already up and shrugging into a coat. He doesn’t tie his boats or close the coat, just takes a drag from his cigarette and throws open the door. He whistles and Titan takes off into the night, barking like crazy, ignoring the rain.

Rey hurries after him without her shoes. Heart pounding, she follows Ben past a vegetable garden to the fence, and he shines a flashlight along the top. She follows slowly with her arms crossed and hears the splitting scream again that makes her bones rattle. Holy crap.

The light falls on the source: one of the undead impaled on a spike, arms flailing and spraying blood all over the place. It shrieks at the light and sick crunching sounds echo through the rain. Rey fears she’ll lose her delicious chicken dinner.

Ben cocks his rifle with one hand on the barrel and laughs. “You dumb piece of shit. How’d you get up there?”

He shakes his head and keeps laughing, then drops his cigarette and takes aim, unaffected by the screams. Rey can hardly see through the rain but hears Ben land a clean headshot on the zombie. It slumps and falls silent.

Ben sets his gun aside and grabs a ladder from the side of the cabin. He props it up at a dangerous angle and climbs to the top to look over the fence with his flashlight. Rey stares with mixed fascination and terror. Isn’t he afraid of falling over?

He swears. “Fuck—fucking tree fell over. Hey girl, hand me my rifle!”

Rey hurries to obey. She offers up the weapon and holds the ladder while Ben cocks the gun and shoots again, and again, and again. The undead groan just outside the towering fence and she can hear them sniffing her out through the rain. They’re hungry.

Ben calls to Titan and the dog disappears. He comes back dragging a heavy black gun, which Rey hands up to Ben. This one he cocks differently and settles on his shoulder before he fires—because it’s fully automatic and plows through everything in its path. The sound is incredibly loud, as are the shrieks of the victims.

He stops after a bit and scans the ground before coming down. Rey shivers and tries to help him put back the ladder, but he doesn’t need it.

 “Blew through the tree,” he huffs. “Should keep ‘em away until I can saw it in the morning.”

Titan drags the huge gun back and Rey watches, amazed. What a smart dog.

They head back inside, drenched to the bone. Ben takes off his jacket and boots and grabs the hem of Rey’s pants, which makes her squeak in surprise. He ignores her and carries on pulling them off with rough, calloused hands. She’s too cold and scared to do anything except stand there.

He takes off her shirt as well and that leaves her naked in front of him, trembling even more.

Ben pauses. One of his warm palms closes over her breast and squeezes gently, then his other grasps her second breast. Rey tries not to cry while he massages her chest, because he’s not being rough, and he just saved her from certain death. What if he throws her out? She’ll be dead in the first night.

He swallows. “Cold skin. We’ll be warm in bed.”

 “I would like to… to sleep on the couch,” Rey whispers. She wants to slap his hands away.

That doesn’t get a reply. Ben cups her breasts, teasing her nipples with his thumbs, and she can’t help but relax. He breathes on her scalp.

 “I’m sorry,” he mumbles. “I just needed something to brighten up this miserable place.”

Rey’s lower lip quivers as Ben guides her toward the bedroom. He shuts the door behind them and carefully sets her things aside on the floor, but offers her the rabbit doll she made. She snatches it to her chest and tries not to cry. What he wants is obvious.

Ben tugs back the sheets. “Lay on your side and look at the wall.”

She crawls into the creaky bed and does as she’s told. Clothes fall to the floor behind her and Ben climbs under the sheets, warm bare chest pressing to Rey’s back. He’s naked. He smells like rain and fire.

The window is high up and barred, but Rey stares at it anyway, listening to the rain. Ben runs a hand down her side and over her hip, curling closer, nuzzling his nose into her damp hair. It’s not awful but she barely knows him and she wants to go back home.

He kisses her neck. Something hot and hard pushes against her bottom and he hitches her calf over his hip, exposing her to him in the worst way. Rey jerks away when she feels prodding between her thighs and she quickly realizes it’s his cock. It’s thick and feels too big and she whimpers.

Ben wraps an arm under her neck to restrain her by the shoulders. He strokes the one his palm covers and presses a couple kisses there. His cock gently pokes her over and over, slowly slicking with her bodily fluids she doesn’t want to make. Her heart pounds.

 “It’s easier if you relax,” he rumbles.

 “I don’t—I don’t want to do this.”

He leans his weight forward, pinning her underneath him as the blunt tip of his cock pushes in. Rey squirms and her eyes widen and Ben keeps pushing without hesitation. He groans in her hair. It feels like he’s ripping her in half and she can’t stop him.

 “ _Relax_ ,” he growls as she starts crying again. He grasps her hip when he’s anchored enough inside her body and holds her still so he can thrust. “Open your legs or it’s going to hurt.”

Ben covers her mouth to stifle her whimpering. He rolls over completely across her back and grunts as he forces his way deeper. Rey buries her face in a pillow and cries and listens to his staggered breaths. He sinks inside her all the way and she feels overstuffed and gross, stuck to him.

He pants against the back of her head. “Son of a _bitch_.” His hand slides off her mouth and smooths her hair back. Rey feels his cock drag through her insides, twisting the knife. She squeezes her doll.

Still, she doesn’t say anything. She closes her eyes and focuses on the rain while Ben picks up the pace, thrusting hard, holding her hip hard enough to bruise. The pain fades as she grows wetter inside but it’s not much of a comfort to Rey. She’s pinned underneath him like an instrument for him to use—which almost makes it easier to tolerate.

He kisses her shoulder up to her temple and drops his hand down to gently squeeze a breast. Wet sounds fill the quiet room each time he thrusts in, splitting her open all over again. His breath is warm on her ear.

 “Do you want… do you want to come?” Ben asks gruffly. Rey doesn’t answer and he huffs in her hair. “Fine. Hips up. I’m not pulling out.” He helps arch her back, pumping deep enough to cause pain. His fingertips dig into her hip to hold her in place.

Rey winces when he finishes, jerking against her and swearing. He throbs inside her and she feels warmth that quickly leaks around his cock. He groans and shudders after his last thrust, curling up closer behind Rey and turning on his side. She shivers miserably.

Ben’s chest heaves against her back. “Been—Been a long time since I was with a woman.” He hugs her tighter and sighs into her neck, goatee scratching her skin, but doesn’t say anything more.

Rain drizzles on the window and Titan snores from outside the bedroom. Ben falls asleep beside Rey and she can’t move away from his cock. She closes her eyes and all she can see is the shrieking zombie hanging off the fence—but this time it has her face.  


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> U TRICKY PEOPLE FINE I WILL EXTEND IT

 “Rey.”

Disoriented, Rey moans as she wakes in the middle of the night. She forgets where she is for a moment, then feels the searing pain between her legs and remembers _exactly_ where she is. The rain’s stopped at least.

Water drips from the roof and she blinks in the darkness and huffs a sob. Why can’t she just go home? She doesn’t want to be here.

Wet warmth drifts up her inner thigh. Rey peers down and sees Ben between her legs, kissing his way along her thigh until he licks a thin stripe up her slit. She reddens, embarrassed by the intimacy of it, but he licks a spot that makes her shiver excitedly.

He doesn’t say anything else. His tongue keeps moving and he holds her hips in his enormous hands, dragging Rey as close as he can, and she rolls her hips. It tingles and warms and her lips part, and Ben gently sucks that spot. Her heels dig into his back. It feels like she might pee but it also feels _good_.

The sun is rising in the sky when she gives in to the pressure. Rey covers her face and tries to turn away as she whimpers and the tension crests, like she’s falling over a ledge. She feels weird rubbing against Ben’s mouth but he doesn’t seem to mind it—he groans and rubs her hip bones with his thumbs until she goes still.

It’s not as scary when Ben crawls up her body. Her limbs are heavy and she pants as he penetrates her in one fluid motion. Rey winces and digs her nails into his shoulder blades. _Ouch_.

 “Sorry,” he mumbles, “big dick.”

 “It’s—it’s okay. I guess.”

He rests his forehead on hers, broad shoulders shifting, and Rey desperately wishes to turn her face away from him. Ben seems to like it, though. He presses some of his weight on her and she feels the muscles tightening and relaxing in his stomach when he thrusts, kind of lazy. Last night he was in a rush.

 “Feel good?” he grunts.

 “Um…” Rey shrugs, sheepish. “I guess?”

Ben kisses her jaw and down her neck. “Feels real fucking good for me. You’re tight as hell.”

He slowly draws out on the next thrust and slowly piles back in, and this time Rey doesn’t hate it. She watches his glistening cock emerge and disappear inside her again, and she’s suddenly aware of how intimate it is. She can see the trail of hair from his belly button to his crotch and all kinds of knotted scars on his chest and stomach. He’s a _lot_ bigger than her, and she doesn’t have nearly as many scars.

It’s a lot. Rey swallows and turns her head as Ben resumes thrusting, and he only lasts another handful of minutes. His breath hitches and he buries his face in her neck, then she feels the warm rush. He puffs for a minute before drawing away, slipping from her body with a weird squelch.

Ben rolls on his back beside her, rubbing his face and groaning. He combs his hands through his hair and folds his arms behind his head.

 “Forgot how good sex feels.” He glances at Rey, licking his lips. “Sun comes up soon. I have to go take care of the tree, check on the hens and the garden. You, uh…” He gestures vaguely. “Stay in here and clean.”

 “…Okay.”

They lapse into silence. Rey crosses her ankles and stares at the ceiling until Ben turns over to face her on his side. He tugs up the sheets and touches between her thighs without asking permission, gathering their mixed come on his finger.

He kisses her shoulder as his middle finger traces up her slit. “How old are you, babe?”

 “Fif—fifteen,” Rey breathes. His finger pauses before the good spot and she squirms a little.

 “Well… shit. Nalya didn’t tell me that.” Ben kisses her temple, more hesitant than before. He draws his finger to her stomach and paints a reddish, shiny X. “That’s why you’re such a bleeder.”

 “…Didn’t you ask for me?”

He cups his hand over her mound, two fingers pushing inside her and the heel of his palm rubbing the good spot. Rey almost forgets her question.

 “No,” Ben mumbles. “I just said I wanted a woman—but I guess I made you one now.”

The angle of his hand doesn’t feel very good and Rey politely pushes him away. He growls and paws her over onto her stomach, pushing up on his arms to move behind her. The bed creaks, bathed in the first blue light of dawn from outside.

He yanks her hips up so she’s bending her back. “You can’t say no to me. Not your place.”

 “But—but I just didn’t—” Rey reddens and squeezes her eyes shut. “I liked the other thing. That you did.”

Ben pauses.

Her heart races as he draws back and flips her roughly on her back again. His dark eyes search hers for a moment before he drifts down to body and his mouth finds the pleasurable spot. Ben shrugs her calves over his shoulders and Rey relaxes into the pillows, combing her fingers through his thick hair.

Maybe she can survive this.

—————

A revving chainsaw wakes Rey in an empty bed. Ben is long gone and she’s alone in the messy sheets, exhausted and sore.

She rubs her eyes and hops out of bed, determined to make herself useful in the house.

First the sheets are washed, shucked into a washer Ben must’ve pillaged from an abandoned house. He has solar panels on the roof and comforts Rey isn’t used to, like running water and plumbing. She fits the sheets in and sets the dial for ‘regular.’

She dusts in the book room and bedroom, cleans the bathtub and sink, and scrubs the toilet until it’s sparkling. There’s plenty of bleach around and Rey puts it to good use scrubbing up stains and weird messes she finds. Ben is a _slob._

But it’s nice to have work to do that doesn’t involve picking through a trashcan. It reminds her that she should try cooking, since there are actual ingredients to use. Maybe she can make something good.

Yet the messy book room calls to her more and she heads there when the sheets are back on the bed. Ben almost lives a normal life in the hellish wasteland of America, with his books and appliances, and Rey wonders how hard he worked to get it all.

The book room holds all kinds of literature, from comic books to newspapers to bestsellers. Rey sits on the floor, comfortable in one of Ben’s shirts and boxers, and handles each one with the utmost care. Books are usually burned for fire. Survival is more important than anything else.

 “You read?”

Rey looks up at Ben leaning on the doorframe. He raises his eyebrows. Her gaze drifts down his sweaty chest to his jeans he already has popped open.

She nods. “Yeah, whenever I find a book. You have a whole lot here.”

 “Yeah, try to save ‘em from the fucking bandits. Easier to burn a book than a tree.” He puts his hands in his pockets and stands beside Rey, eyeing her book. “ _Oh, The Places You’ll Go_ , huh?”

She blushes and hugs it to her chest. “I know it’s a kid’s book but I like it. I had a copy back… home.”

Ben shrugs. “Good book. My mama used to read it to me—I had that when I was a kid. You should hold onto it.” He rubs his nose and shrugs again, averting his eyes. “If you want it.”

 “Oh. Okay.” Rey runs her finger along the weathered binding. “Thanks.”

Then she shows him all the work she accomplished, and he doesn’t _seem_ impressed, but he gives her a hesitant pat on the head. Rey loves the small gesture and eats up his approval, pleased that she’s made someone happy. Finally.

Ben takes a shower and Rey follows suit. They sit at the table and wait for their dinner of chicken soup to finish cooking, Titan keeping watch by the door.

 “Finished the tree. Brought the wood back for making fires.” He shrugs, almost bumping her shoulder with his. “Might as well.”

 “Good. That’s good.”

Rey twiddles her thumbs and tries to think of more to say, but he’s still too intimidating. Ben seems just as uncomfortable as she is. He rubs his mouth and sighs into his palm, drumming his fingers on the table.

 “Killed the tomcat under the porch, too,” he adds. “Should keep the cats from breeding.”

 “…Oh. Right.”

 “I have to go up to Cayman tomorrow to loot more guns and shit.” Ben scratches the back of his neck and stares at the table. “Anything you need?”

 “I think I’m fine. Thanks, though.”

The soup finishes heating up. Rey dishes some out for both of them and takes her seat again beside Ben, who compliments the food after a bite. She mumbles her thanks and takes trembling sips while he practically inhales his. She knows what he’ll want when they’re done.

But he doesn’t. He takes the dishes and washes them, then beckons Rey to follow him outside.

It’s a balmy summer night full of chirping crickets and the rustle of leaves in the wind. Ben sits on the top step and Rey sits beside him. Curious eyes watch from around the porch as he lights a cigarette and snuffs out his match. Must be the cats.

He takes a long drag and offers it to Rey, who frowns and shakes her head.

 “Those are bad.”

Ben snorts with laughter, shaking his head and looking up at the moon as he exhales. The cut on his arm hasn’t been wrapped with a clean bandage.

 “I’m fucking a fifteen year old and scrapin’ zombies off my fence. Nothin’ matters at the end of the world, babe.” He flicks his ashes and motions toward a white cat creeping up the steps. “That’s Beulah. She’s the whore of the bunch.”

Beulah meows softly and scurries up to Ben, who grunts and pushes her away. She hops on Rey’s lap instead, purring and dragging her tail under her chin until Rey sneezes.

Ben growls. “Get! _Get_!” He swats her until she runs back under the porch to hide. “You’re gonna make her sick, Beulah, you fucking slut!”

 “It just surprised me,” Rey insists. She pets Titan’s head beside her. “She didn’t mean any harm.”

 “Yeah, well… antibiotics are all almost expired by now, so I don’t have nothin’ if you _do_ get sick.”

True. There aren’t hospitals anymore and doctors or nurses are few and far between. Sickness can be a death sentence, even something like the flu or a stomach bug. It has to be culled before it spreads.

Beulah peeks up from the bottom step. She hops up with a tiny pink kitten in her mouth and warily passes Ben to place it in Rey’s hands. She meows and paws her knee, obviously distressed about something with it. It’s warm and moving but _very_ small.

Ben grunts. “Runt.” He holds his cigarette between his lips and nudges the kitten over. “Yeah, it’s missing a back leg. She brings ‘em to me when they’re defective and she wants them put out of their misery.”

Rey clasps her hands around the kitten protectively. She glares at Ben, who raises an eyebrow.

 “Well she gave this one to _me_ ,” Rey snips. “So she must want me to help it.” She scratches Beulah behind the ears and elicits throaty purrs. “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of him. You worry about raising your other babies, mama.”

 “Make a good appetizer for the dog,” Ben mutters as he takes another drag.

Rey gets to her feet, cradling the tiny kitten. “Cigarette smoke isn’t good for the baby. I’ll be inside if you need me.”

Titan stands and follows her in through the screen door. He sniffs the kitten and gives it a gentle lick.

 “Baby?”

She looks up. Ben is still staring off across his yard, exhaling thick gray trails of smoke. He turns to look her in the eye and raises his brows as he takes another pull from his cigarette.

He exhales. “You want a baby—I can give you a baby. Go lie on your back and spread your legs.”

Rey doesn’t respond. Ice prickles down her spine until he cracks a smile and laughs. Ben shakes his head and returns to staring across the dark lawn.

 “Don’t get too attached to that thing,” he says. “Don’t call it a baby. Mother Nature is a cruel bitch who makes zombies and kills kittens—and puts babies in fifteen-year-old bellies. Assume the worst, hope for the best… none of it matters anyway.”

That’s about enough for Rey. She quietly takes her leave from the porch with her new kitten, and decides she’s going to assume the best and prepare for the worst. Her world is already dark enough.


	4. Chapter 4

Heavy breathing wakes Rey in the ethereal blue light of dawn. She yawns and arches her back—and slowly becomes aware of a couple odd sensations.

Ben lies behind her, hand gripping a thigh bent over his hip, quiet breaths in her hair. Rey realizes a couple seconds later that he’s having sex with her and has been for a while, definitely when she was still asleep. She clenches her jaw and squirms, skewered and wet on his cock, and a rush of warmth tingles down her spine. He’s big.

 “Didn’t want to wake you up,” he says, breathless. He kisses her cheek. “Done in… done in a minute.”

He rolls over completely, pinning her under his enormous weight. Ben pants into the pillows above her head, struggling closer between frantic thrusts that bury his cock firmly inside Rey. She winces and tries to ignore the way his pleasured groans and breaths make her feel, because she still needs to hate him for trading her for guns.

He kisses her shoulder. “Awful squirmy. You want to come?” His voice hitches, followed by a shudder. “ _Fuck_ , you feel good.”

 “Don’t… don’t finish in me,” she tries feebly. “Please.”

It doesn’t get a kind response. Ben huffs and turns Rey roughly on her back, grabbing an upper arm each in one big hand. He pins her there underneath him and her gaze flickers down to his cock just hanging between his thighs, far more intimidating than when it’s invisible inside her.

His jaw shifts. “Why shouldn’t I?”

 “Because I don’t want to get pregnant!”

 “That doesn’t matter. I’m the man and what I say goes.” Ben leans forward, jaw still set angrily as he pushes his cock inside her again. “It’s in the Bible. _You_ listen to _me_.”

Rey glares over his shoulder at the wall. That’s not true. Stupid fucking hick.

But Ben only thrusts a handful more times before he pulls out and finishes himself on her chest. Rey tries not to smile and savor her victory in front of him, and keeps her expression blank. His cum starts drying as he gets out of bed and stomps to the bathroom.

He throws a washcloth at her when he comes back and pulls on a shirt. “Don’t let anybody in the house and don’t leave. I’m takin’—no, you can keep Titan here. He can wait to go out ‘til I’m home.”

Rey slowly sits up and nods. She wipes her chest clean before slipping out of bed to use the bathroom.

Titan is asleep in his bed with the kitten curled up next to his stomach. Rey gives him a pet before she takes the kitten to give her breakfast: dehydrated milk and crushed chicken hearts. There aren’t really any cows around anymore.

It’s slow-going but the kitten licks up the paste from Rey’s fingertip. She mixes in water for good measure and keeps feeding her until she mewls and twists away. Good. Maybe she’s ready for a nap.

 “You have to wipe its ass, y’know.”

Ben is dressed in old army fatigues and big black boots. He has his hair back out of his face, too.

Rey scowls. “Excuse me?”

 “They don’t piss and shit on their own. Have to use something wet to wipe its ass so it’ll piss and shit.” He shrugs, sliding an enormous knife in his belt loop. “You wanted to be Mother Goose.”

 “Fine. I don’t care.”

Ben laughs, shaking his head as he walks to the door. “Have fun. Don’t waste all our food on it. I’ll be back by mid-afternoon.”

 “Good luck,” she mutters, waving him off.

The front door opens and shuts. Titan whines.

—————

It’s a quiet day after Ben leaves. Rey busies herself organizing the book room and makes a sling so she can carry the kitten with her, snuggled to her chest. Titan watches from outside the door and sighs.

The house is clean otherwise, so there isn’t much else to do, but organizing books gets boring pretty quick. Rey walks back to the bedroom for a nap, stretching her arms and legs around the way. She’s done plenty of work for the day. Kylo can’t be upset with her.

She pauses near the front door.

It’s insane for her to stay cooped up like his pet. Rey chews her inner cheek and slips into her shoes at the door, making Titan whine nervously. He gently takes the hem of her shirt in his teeth and gives a tug.

 “It’s okay,” she assures. “I’ll just be right outside. I want to see the vegetables and chickens and stuff.”

Titan whines and follows her out with his ears pinned back. It’s a sunny day, finally not heavy and foggy with rain, and Rey wants to make the most of it.

Ben has a small garden behind the cabin with assorted vegetables growing: kale, pumpkin, carrots, and more. Chickens roam off in the corner near their coop, clucking and pecking the ground for little bugs, and they scratch at the dirt when they see Titan. He doesn’t give chase, though, just follows close behind Rey while she explores.

The barbed wire fence shows a few small gaps big enough for Rey to see through. She crouches by one and sees glowing yellow eyes watching the fence through the shade of a tree, and a mouth that opens and glistens with thick saliva. Undead.

Then she sees something much worse. A small orange kitten is on the other side of the fence making a beeline for the trees, mewing for his mother.

Panicked, Rey races back to the house and snatches Ben’s rifle from the kitchen. Titan runs after her up to the gate and she splashes through puddles and mud. She heaves open the door with great difficulty, teeth gritted and muscles straining, and she manages to open it enough to slip through.

Her hands tremble. “Please be okay—please be okay.” She cocks the rifle the way she saw Ben do it and runs along the fence. “Please, please…”

A tiny orange furball spins around and makes a dash for the shadows again. Rey cries out and runs after without hesitation—but Titan dashes ahead of her.

He snarls and leaps, fangs sinking into the forearm of a zombie making a reach for Rey’s face. She screams and stumbles back, dropping the rifle in the process, and sees the orange ‘kitten’ was a bundle of leaves. Holy shit. It was _bait_.

Titan rips off the zombie’s arm and throws it aside, hackles raised. Another swipes him from the side and Rey screams again as it bites down on Titan’s shoulder. The dog howls and flails to escape, yanking desperately as more zombies close in. All they have to do is move but Rey can’t leave him.

 “Let him go!” she shrieks. “Let him—”

The madness breaks. The head of the zombie holding Titan explodes, spraying Rey with decaying brains and dropping the bleeding dog to the ground. She scrambles forward and grabs him around his middle to drag him back to the light, then another shot rings out, and another. Titan whimpers.

One grabs her ankle and Rey kicks it in its snarling face before the head explodes. She shakes it off in a rush, struggling to carry Titan into the sun before another zombie bites his tail. Rey screams in rage and kicks the beast away as they tumble out of the shade and back into warm sunshine.

It’s bad. Titan’s shoulder is torn open and covered in blood, and Rey thinks she can see bone. She covers her mouth with both hands and bursts into tears at the sight of it. She can fix it. She has to. Her quivering hands settle on his cheek and heaving side and she sobs hysterically, nauseous and terrified and guilty.

A big hand seizes her shoulder and flings her back away from Titan. Rey falls on her side and watches Ben throw aside his gun, stooping to gently lift the dog into his arms.

 “It’s okay, bud,” he says, “it’s okay. Good boy. You did good.” He casts Rey a hide-melting glare over his shoulder. “What did you _do_?”

 “I’m so sorry—there w-was bait! It looked like a kitten! I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean for him to get hurt!”

 “Yeah? Fucking cats? Maybe I should kill all the fucking cats and chain you to the fucking floor!”

Rey collects the guns and follows him back into the compound, gate shut, and she babbles more apologies. Beulah shrinks away as he storms up the stairs with the dog draped in his arms.

Ben kicks aside a chair at the table and carefully lays Titan down. He flings open cabinets and drawers until he has thread, a needle, and antiseptic. Rey hovers near the door and cries to herself, wincing when the antiseptic burns and Titan snarls in pain.

Ben threads the needle. “You almost got my fucking dog killed. Know how long I’ve had this dog? Know what he’s _been through_ with ME?!” He throws aside the needle and storms over to shout in Rey’s face instead and she sobs all over again. “I should slap you fucking silly—you hurt my goddamn dog!”

 “I’m sorry!” Rey sobs. “I didn’t—I didn’t want the kitten… the kitten… to… to…”

He slaps her. It’s light, but it still hurts and makes her cry even more. He hisses in her ear.

 “None of them kittens ever saved my life, and _none_ of ‘em kept me company in this godforsaken wasteland. You ever get my dog hurt again, and I’ll put those kittens in a fuckin’ bag and _drown them._ Now quit fuckin’ crying and boil some rags.”

She hurries to do just that, wracked with guilt over Titan’s injuries. He won’t turn, because animals can’t, but the wound is likely to get infected and if it spreads… there isn’t much that can be done.

Ben stitches together the wound and the bleeding stops after a while. He moves Titan to the bed and slams the bedroom door shut.

Rey sits on the couch and cries some more. She falls asleep there when the sun sets.


	5. Chapter 5

The bedroom door is still shut when Rey wakes, and she isn’t going to risk trying to open it.

She visits the bathroom to wash off the guts and blood before going to the kitchen to start breakfast. Her hands tremble as she cracks eggs in a mixing bowl and she steals glances toward the bedroom, but Ben still doesn’t come out. Is Titan… okay? Alive?

Rey makes two plates, one for each of them, but she’s still too nauseous with guilt to eat for herself. She hesitates outside the bedroom door for a minute before giving a hesitant small knock. They should eat. The dog needs the food even more than—

The front door swings open and she turns in time to see Ben step inside. His dark eyes look right through her, rimmed with dark circles, and he carelessly drops his rifle on the floor. He’s been awake all night and he’s soaked through from rain. He _smells_. Smells like rot and earth and decay.

Ben sways as he steps out of his boots. “That dog is my best friend, y’know. He’s my best friend.” He coughs and kicks his boots aside, stumbling as he takes off his coat—maybe he’s been drinking, too. “Gotta go find anti… antibiotics.”

Rey checks that the gate is shut outside before following Ben into the bedroom. He leans on the doorframe and staggers toward where Titan lies motionless on the bed, and her heart skips a beat. Is he breathing? Oh god. No, no…

But the dog’s tail wags when he hears Ben approaching and he lifts his head. Rey breathes a relieved sigh and sets down a plate on the nightstand for Ben, then hovers behind him with the other. He’ll probably want to feed Titan. Of course. It’s his dog.

 “Still alive,” Ben mutters, “good. Didn’t want to wake up ‘n find you dead, bud.” He scratches Titan behind the ears and coughs again.

She sets the plate down near Titan’s hindquarters, eyeing Ben as she withdraws and tiptoes from the room. He might be sick, too. What if he can’t go get antibiotics for the dog? What if he needs them, too? They’ll… they’ll both die and she’ll be left alone in the cabin for the rest of her life.

Rey feeds the kitten and helps him go to the bathroom, then goes to the library to read up on natural antiseptics and antibiotics. She has to help somehow. Her stupidity got Titan bit in the first place and now she needs to help fix it. Surely there’s something in the woods that can help.

 “Sorry I hit you.”

She’s on her third book when she hears Ben. He hangs by the door, expression guarded.

Rey shrugs. “It’s okay. How’s Titan?”

 “Hangin’ in there.” He runs a hand through his hair, heaving a sigh. “I think he’ll make it. Won’t turn or nothin’ like that, at least.”

 “Did he like his breakfast?”

 “Yeah, gobbled it right up. Ate mine too—thanks.”

She nods and goes back to reading her book. Good, they both ate. That’s good.

Ben shuffles into the small room and sits on the only empty chair. He’s still swaying from the alcohol but doesn’t seem angry anymore, which is a relief.

He leans forward. “I won’t drown the kittens, either. It’s just, y’know—” His gaze moves to the ceiling. “That dog means a lot to me. Got him when he was a puppy eatin’ garbage in a dumpster.”

 “It’s okay. I know you were scared.”

 “I wasn’t _scared._ ”

Rey raises her eyebrows as she looks up from the book. Ben scowls and snorts, leaning back with his arms folded like she’s annoying him. The truth hurts.

They sit in silence for a while, only broken by the soft flutter of pages turning. There are a couple plants that act as antiseptics but nothing antibiotic like penicillin, and Rey nervously picks through the last book. Life was better with doctors and hospitals figuring this stuff out.

Ben leaves and thankfully takes a shower. Rey takes a break to check on the kitten, still curled up and snoozing in his blanket, and she peers through the window to check on Beulah. She looks fine: she’s comfortable sunning herself on the porch. Her kittens pick at bone scraps Ben must have left.

That leaves the dishes on the sink, which Rey washes off and sets to dry. There’s not much else to do. She won’t go outside to check on the chickens or anything—that’s bound to piss Ben off.

She peeks in on Titan instead. He’s breathing kind of fast and lifts his head when he hears the door, tail wagging softly. Rey smiles and slips inside.

 “I’m sorry,” she whispers. She crawls over him into the bed and runs her fingers over his ribs. He wags his tail faster. “I really am. I just wanted to help the cat, you know?”

But it wasn’t a cat: it was a trap set by a zombie that wasn’t supposed to have any intelligence left. Maybe they know Ben as well as he knows them.

Titan sighs and closes his eyes. His wounds are weeping something putrid and Rey knows he’s going to need an antibiotic. But if Ben can’t find any, they must not still be around.

The bathroom door opens. Ben staggers around and mutters to himself for a minute before he manages to open the bedroom door. He coughs more, turning and keeping it in his elbow, and Rey slips out of the bed to check on the kitten again. He’ll need more food.

 “Where’re you goin’?” Ben slurs—clean, but still reeking of alcohol.

 “To feed the kitten. I’m not going _out_ , if that’s what you’re worried about.”

Ben snorts. “I don’t care what you do.” He follows her to the living room like a lumbering bull in a china shop. “Next time I’ll let the zombies eat ya and your fuckin’ cats!”

 “Uh huh.”

 “And I’m not sorry I smacked you, neither!”

Rey sits on the couch with the kitten, doing her best to ignore Ben. He’s drunk and still pissed. Why bother arguing with him?

He paces, glaring down at her. “Don’t see why you care so damn much about fucking cats.”

 “They need help. You should try caring more.”

 “I’m all dried up—I’m sapped.” Ben points sharply toward the bedroom, swaying. “Only thing I let myself care about… is gonna be dead by the end of the week!”

 “You said he’d be fine. You’re just drunk. Were you drinking in the bathroom?!”

He huffs and stomps off. It’s quiet enough for Rey to finish feeding the kitten and bring him to the bedroom to sleep with Titan.

She finds Ben sitting at the kitchen table with a bottle of clear alcohol—gin, maybe. His glassy dark eyes gaze off into the distance as she sits across from him, folding her hands in her lap. Okay, he’s had his opportunity to be angry and upset; now he needs to get back to tolerating her again.

He swallows. His voice comes out rough.

 “My dog is gonna die because of you—because you wanted to save some cat.”

Rey looks down at her lap. “I’m sorry. I want to say it won’t happen again, but… I can’t sit by and ignore animals or people in need. I can’t. I won’t.” She picks at her cuticles, risking a glance up. “I found some antibiotic plants in the book that can help. If you can help me—”

Ben hurls the bottle against the opposite wall. It smashes and rains down glass and booze to the counter, but before Rey can get up to clean it, he grabs her wrist. She meets his sad dark eyes and doesn’t move a muscle.

 “You killed my best friend,” Ben continues in a low voice. He squeezes her wrist and twists slowly. “I’ve sat and watched everyone I love die, and you come kill the last thing I have. Then you’ve got the nuts to tell me I should _care more_.”

 “I’m sorry—I’m sorry!” Rey winces and grits her teeth. “I’m just trying to help and I don’t know how!”

He shoves her back in the chair. Frightened, Rey gets up and scurries to clean up the mess on the wall, tears welling up in her eyes. A sob escapes and Ben stands up so fast that his chair clatters to the floor.

 “You better not be fuckin’ crying!” he snarls. He grabs her shoulder and flips her around and Rey bursts into tears. “Fuck you! I’ll fucking slap you again!”

 “Is that the type of person you want to be?!” she retorts in a hiss. “Slapping _and_ raping teenage girls in your backwoods fucking cabin?!”

 “It doesn’t matter what I do. There’s no one around to see it: no cops, no parents, no nothin’. We’re gonna die out here all alone.” Ben seizes her jaw in one big hand, lower lip trembling. “And I didn’t do that to you, so don’t say it. I didn’t do that.”

Rey bares her teeth. “Yes you did, you foul piece of shit, and now you’re drunk and pushing me around! I bet your mother would be so _proud_!”

That sets Ben off, but he manages to turn away before he takes it out on Rey. She screams and launches at his back anyway, throwing her arms around his neck and legs around his waist. She holds on for dear life and bites his shoulder.

He turns in a circle and drops to the floor on his knees. Rey has to let go before he rolls on his back and flattens her, but he grabs her ankle before she escapes and pins her arms underneath him. She shrieks like a wild cat and spits at his face, but he turns so it lands on his cheek.

Ben wipes it off slowly. He covers her mouth and ignores her flailing legs, and Rey keeps screaming.

 “See?” he says. “Nobody can hear you out here. Nobody gives a shit, neither.” He leans closer to her face and she pauses. His eyes are watery. “I don’t give a shit if you was eight or eighty—I wasn’t gonna forget the warmth of a woman’s body, and I wasn’t gonna die out here alone.”

 “You’re selfish!” Rey hisses as he lets her mouth free.

 “Yeah… I am.” Ben leans back and sits upright over her. His throat bobs as he pulls off his shirt and his hands move to his sweatpants. “You’re right. I am.”

It takes some effort for him to pin her down. Rey screams into the floor, but like Ben said: there’s no one around to hear her. Only him.


	6. Chapter 6

Dawn comes.

Rey wakes on the couch, wrapped in a blanket with no sign of Ben. She’s sore and miserable—and she knows he probably feels the same way.

She slowly stands. It’s cold and still, half-dark, which means the zombies are still out from their hiding spots, but she knows what she has to do. Rey sniffles as she pads to the shower and scrubs off the sweat and cum from the night before.

She checks on Titan but not the kitten. Both are still asleep as she dresses in slacks and a long-sleeve shirt, puts on a hat, and takes two of Ben’s pistols from the closet. Her hands tremble as she loads them with bullets, because she still doesn’t really know how to use them. She takes a holster for the extra gun and steps into her sneakers.

Rey knows what she has to do.

—————

The ground is slick with water and mud. It splashes around Rey’s sneakers, soaking them through, but she keeps walking with purpose to the gate. Ben won’t be happy if he catches her leaving.

She turns the dial to open the gate and slips through before it opens all the way. When it’s shut and locked behind her, Rey swallows nervously, clutching a page from a book and a gun. It should be enough. She just needs to get back before nightfall.

So she walks off toward a distant trail and fishes for her compass in her sweater pocket. This is the time to be brave, and to put aside her feelings, because she needs to find these plants to help Ben and Titan. Then she’ll leave—go off on her own somewhere where she won’t be such a bother, find someone who wants to be around her.

Rey starts off and doesn’t look back.

—————

It’s easy going at first. She has to hide from people on the paths a couple times but doesn’t come close to the zombie-filled darkness. The weather stays clear all the way to the small patch of forest indicated by the map. Rey finds plenty of the weed she needs and packs it away in her sweater.

But the heavens open up on the way home. She runs through the forest at first, knowing full well her time is running out—the zombies will come out as soon as the sky turns dark enough. The air is thick and heavy, humid and rainy, and she clings to the weeds she picked. There’s extra, just in case they need more.

Something snarls and swipes at her. Rey shrieks and spins away, immediately leveling her weapon with the offending creature. The zombie hisses and peers at her from the shadows. Another lurks on her other side, waiting for her to come to close.

 “Fuck you!” she spits. The gun rattles as she cocks it. “Don’t come near me!”

The first one risks sticking a rotting foot into the sunlight and burns, screaming in pain. Rey swallows and holds the gun steady, then fires.

Her bullet zips through the zombie’s face and knocks it backwards. The one to her side hisses, and she whirls around and shoots that one through the face, too. It collapses in the darkness, leaving her alone in the woods and the rain.

The gun keeps shaking in her grasp. Rey bites back her tears and keeps running home.

—————

The compound is quiet when she gets back, covered in dirt and zombie guts. Rey bangs on the door to get Ben’s attention and is surprised when he opens it quickly. He’s going to be mad for sure.

She closes the door behind her and scratches Beulah behind the ears on her way up the stairs. The door is open and the screen door is up, but there’s a flap at the bottom to let the cats come inside. Rey frowns when Beulah walks in before her, kittens in tow.

Ben sits at the kitchen table with the kitten in his ridiculous oversized arms. There’s food on the table: a cooked chicken, eggs, and peppers from the garden. They’re garnished with what might be butter and spices, which is even more shocking than the cats being allowed inside.

Rey sets her guns on the table. She’s still mad. He’s an asshole and she’s leaving.

 “Here,” she says. “I went and found the weeds to make antibiotic—you boil them and mash them in a crucible into a paste. You can use it on Titan’s cuts and eat it, too. Since you’re coughing.”

She drops the weeds next to the guns. It’s a long trip to get more, but it’s one Ben can make on his own.

He sets the kitten on the floor where Beulah can wash him, then gets to his feet. Rey takes a step back.

 “You got zombie guts on you,” he says.

 “I had to shoot two of them. I was in the woods staying out of the rain.”

Ben raises his eyebrows. He scratches his jaw and picks up the weeds, turning to the stove to put on a pot of water. Rey waits and crouches to pet Beulah.

 “How long I boil these for?”

 “Half an hour. Medium heat.” She checks the kitten and is pleased to find him snoozing away. “How’s Titan doing today?”

 “Good. Ate earlier.”

Rey nods. They fall into silence.

She’s hungry from being out all day, though. She washes her hands in the bathroom and comes out to the table to eat, wolfing down half the chicken and a couple hard boiled eggs. The sautéed vegetables taste great, too, and she’s left drowsy and with a full belly.

 “Was worried when I didn’t find you earlier.”

Rey glares at the back of Ben’s head.

 “Yeah? No other warm bodies around for you to fuck?”

He moves the weeds into a bowl and doesn’t answer. Rey watches him pick out a utensil with a blunt end, which he uses to grind down the damp weeds.

It turns into a paste and he leaves to apply it to Titan, but Rey is _positive_ he’ll mess it up. She follows, Beulah at her heels, and nudges him aside at the end of the bed. The paste looks good at least.

 “I’ll do it.” She snatches the bowl.

Ben shrugs. “Okay. You went out and got it.” He hovers back, hands in his pockets. “You need a shower. I won’t bug you.”

Rey ignores him. She soothes Titan as she smears the paste on his shoulder and he barely lifts his head to see her. But he’s going to feel better soon. The infection will recede and he’ll feel better.

She shoves the bowl back in Ben’s grasp. Beulah follows her to the bathroom, where she washes off the guts and mud, and she slips into sweatpants and a T-shirt of Ben’s. Rey isn’t dumb enough to leave in the middle of the night but she feels powerful after killing a zombie. She can survive alone.

Ben sits in the dark living room. He looks up from petting Beulah, still holding the kitten in his other arm, and Rey stops. He’s… crying?

He smiles at her blank stare. His lower lip quivers but he nods, laughing a little.

 “You were right about me,” he croaks. He sniffles and presses his lips together to get a grip. “I’m sorry. I’m a bitter, miserable son of a bitch. You don’t have to stay here and suffer with me.”

Rey refuses to give him a single tear. She hates him. She’s leaving.

She crosses her arms. “You… you better keep your hands off me. I can shoot a gun, y’know. I shot two zombies so shooting you won’t be hard.”

 “I will—won’t!” Ben scowls and scratches his head, then rubs his eyes. “I won’t touch you.”

Rey nods sharply and turns away to hide her tears. The worst part is that she doesn’t hate him—not a little bit—not at all. That’s why she went to get stupid weeds for him and his stupid dog. Plus, she doesn’t have anywhere else to go right now. Here’s shes safe.

She wanders to the kitchen to clean up dinner but Ben is there in the next moment to do it. Rey crosses her arms again and walks to the screen door to watch the thunderstorm rolling in. A cool breeze drifts through and Beulah arches on her calf.

 “I missed you.”

She doesn’t respond. Ben opens the fridge.

 “I found strawberries out in the woods. I thought you might like them.” He sniffles again and groans. “Rey, this grass tastes like shit.”

 “Eat it!” she snaps.

He mutters. “Yes ma’am.”

She stays by the screen door and closes her eyes. Maybe this is home. Maybe it’s just another pit stop on the way to find where she belongs. Maybe she’ll outgrow him. _Hopefully_ she’ll outgrow him.

Either way, she’s certain she won’t be able to take another step in this fucked-up tragic world without Ben following behind her. It’s a weakness, but sometimes it’s better to meet suffering and misery with all the optimism she can muster.


End file.
